An awkward situation

Real Life Stories from Singles Dating in Sydney

The story from a current dater:

So I’ve been on one date with this girl, I met her through my friend, he lives with her so I’ll be honest, me and her actually had slept together before even going on our first date.But I planned a nice one, I took her to watch the sunset at the beach with a small picnic and then we went for drinks, super casual but more about us getting to know each other one on one away from the group situation we’re normally in together.She’s really cool and super chilled which is why I like her, I think.The problem is, I’ve only just got out of a long-term relationship which was a real headache towards the end, so I don’t think I really want to date someone officially.Me and this girl have hung out a couple more times but I find her communication really sporadic which makes me a bit less interested to be honest and when we hung out last time she told me she though I behaved really differently when it was just me and her, but I thought that would be obvious because I don’t want to be a couple so why would I behave all couple ish around our friends?I’m not sure how to let this girl down now, because obviously I don’t want to create an awkward situation for when we all hang out in a group as friends.

Feedback from your dating expert:

Dating within your friendship group will always be a tricky one to navigate!It sounds like this is a situation where it could be a right person wrong time situation, when anyone comes out of a relationship its good to have a buffering period, where you’re learning how to be by yourself again.But my recommendation would be to stop dating during this period, if you know that right now you don’t want anything serious, going on dates is only going to leave the other person confused when your actions are saying one thing and your words are saying another.You need to be honest with this woman and tell her exactly what is going on in your head, it’s always easier said than done because we don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings but it sounds like after she’s flagged that your behaviour isn’t consistent it’s made you take a step back and distance yourself.If you really wanted to be with her when she’s called you out on a behaviour she doesn’t like you’d change it rather than run away from it.Enjoy dating again, but only once you know that you’re dating for the right reasons, otherwise there’s the risk of just wasting other people’s time.