5 reasons why relationships fail: By Renee Slansky

5 reasons why relationships fail: By Renee Slansky Break-ups are the pits. Let’s face it, no one ever wants to do it, and if we could all just save ourselves the heartache and skip forward to “ the one” then we’d all do it. Relationships aren’t easy and sometimes it’s really just up to us to realise the red flags or warning signs to know how to either repair or end our relationship. So here are 5 common reasons that relationships fail: 

1: IncompatibilityUnfortunately liking the same football team or coffee place isn’t quite going to help you make the distance. Compatibility goes beyond having common interests and like-minded hobbies. It’s about wanting the same things and complimenting each other in a functional and healthy way. It’s so easy to get caught up in the butterflies and emotions, when really we also need to see the bigger picture. Do you have similar beliefs, views and ideas of how to make a relationship strong? Do you want similar goals? Are you heading in the same direction? 

2: Bad communicationWe all know that good communication is the key to great relationships. This isn’t about being chatty with your partner, but being able to talk openly about the things that really need to be said. Learning to discuss problems rather than ignore or stew over. Being able to bring something up with the other person being on the defensive. Getting to the heart of the issues and not being afraid to talk about what is really on your heart and mind. It takes a while to master, but once you have it can be the saving grace and strength of your relationship. 

3: MistrustHonestly and transparency is one of the major foundational pillars in a relationship. In fact, it is the second reason in Australia why people break up -the first being finances. It takes time to build trust, this isn’t something gained overnight. It also takes a certain amount of vulnerability from both people involved. It will mean you have to let down walls and step into the unknown. That’s hard to do, and it’s easy to see why relationships can break down where there is broken trust or dishonesty. 

4: IndifferenceThey say the opposite of love is not hated but indifference. At least when we are fighting or feel hurt by someone, there are still feelings involved. But when we start to feel nothing at all, where can you go from there? The best way to keep passion and the right type of emotions alive is to spend quality time together and communicate what you want and need from one another. Conflict is completely normal and healthy in a relationship to a certain degree). It’s when we just don’t care that we should be worried if our relationship is on the very troubled ground. 

5: Lack or self-purposeThis might seem like a strange point to use, but it’s extremely common. The problem is when we lose our sense of purpose in life we are susceptible to do the following things: make the other person our purpose or have a deep sense of unhappiness and lack of direction in life. The problem with making someone else the centre of our life and happiness is that they will not only feel an enormous amount of pressure to live up to that expectation, but you will also be even more disappointed when they don’t. When we have our own purpose individually and as a couple, we are able to learn and grow both solo and in a relationship. Having direction and a sense of accomplishment in life adds to our deep sense of happiness, which in turn makes your relationship stronger and more fulfilling.