The Handkercheif Approach in Dating

Dating in the modern era seems to have left everyone, especially women stood scratching their heads, what seemed to have been so easy back in the days when our great grandparents were out in the world on the search for the love of their lives, seems to have somehow reached level ten of complication now. 

So how can we apply some old fashioned techniques to modern day dating? Let’s take a look at the handkerchief approach in dating, because gaining an understanding of this approach and being able to apply it in modern situations could be the key to changing the way we date! 

The Handkerchief Approach:

Have you ever heard about how women back in the Victorian era would drop a handkerchief on the floor as they walk past a guy on the street that they like the look of? The idea was that the man would then pick it up and chase after her to return it and which would result in them then being engaged in a conversation. Ultimately this worked because the guy felt like he was doing the woman a favour, that he was needed ….

Back then it seems that women weren’t sat around waiting for men to approach them, they were out finding the ones they liked the look of and then making sure they got them by doing something about it. Nowadays us women tend to sit and wait for the guys we like the look of to approach us, in everyday life, when the harsh reality is, they probably won’t because everyone is scared of rejection and the fact that online dating has lead to us not be able to approach people in real life anymore, alongside the social distancing measures we now have to all make sure we’re following in everyday life is tending to make things even more difficult!

Men like to feel needed, so play this to your advantage. Make it easy for the guy you like to be able to talk to you by ‘dropping the handkerchief’ if you want to attract the guys you actually want, then you need to adapt the handkerchief approach and make it into something you can do in this era, and if you want some real life examples of how to use this we’ve put some below of things you can say to engage the handkerchief effect.

Scenario 1: The Coffee Shop

You’re in a coffee shop and see a guy you like the look of, this is your prime opportunity, try engaging in a conversation like this: 

I hope you don’t mind me asking, but this isn’t my usual go to place for coffee, what’s your recommendation?


Scenario 2: The Gym

You’ve spotted a guy at the gym and don’t know how to start conversation with him without sounding creepy try one of these!

Hey, I haven’t been at this gym for very long so wondered if you could help me with something?

I’m trying to choose what classes to do, have you got any recommendations?


I hope you don’t mind! But my hands are a bit full, could you help me carry this weight back over to where I’m working out?

Scenario 3: The Bar

Maybe you’re ordering a drinks for you and your friend at the bar and conveniently the guy you noticed earlier in the evening and like the look of is stood right next to you while you’re ordering, you could say something like: 

You look like a man who can make good decisions, my friend asked me to surprise her with a drink choice, what do you think I should go for?

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